Is she still there?

She's been laying low for a while.

I almost think she is gone.

Let's be real.  I'm afraid she is gone.

You know the girl that pushed her body to the max.

You know the girl that was getting physically stronger daily.

You know the girl that for the first time in her life liked to look at herself in the mirror.

The girl that was fit.

Felt capable to conquer anything in her path.

Where is she?

Somewhere deep within me.  But, I'm afraid she is gone.

Delivered a beautiful baby girl last fall.  Hello, extra weight.

Developed RA.  Hello, extra weight due to steroid medication.

Moved family overseas.  Hello, stress.  (Stress + losing weight = well, it doesn't happen for me.)

Little sleep.  (Another factor not in my corner right now.)

However...

There is something moving.

There is a stir deep within me.

Can I get back to where I was and even beyond that?

I've shared this fear with dear friends.

Be patient, Sarah.  That's been the response.

I understand that.

The other part to that is...I'm done being patient.

I want ME back.

I want to know SHE is still there.  She isn't lost.

Lost in all the chaos of new things going on around me.

I want to feel comfortable again.

Feel strong.

Feel fit.

Feel healthy.

I'm dusting off the old blog again as an extra bit of accountability.

Writing little bits down is therapeutic.

Wanna know what else is therapeutic?

Enlisting help.

I'm doing a 30 day nutrition +fitness program with my gal, Steph, to help get over this plateau I've hit.

(Check it out here.)

She's coming back.

Slow and steady.

She's coming back.

Wait for it.