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Eight.

I have gained 8 pounds in one week.

Yes, you read that right.

If you were with me at my doctor's appointment this morning when I saw that number on the scale - you would have seen me bawl my eyes out.

I had another RA appointment today.  My doc wanted to go over how meds have been the first week, review more blood work done (which apparently I need to get used to...2 more rounds of blood work were ordered today), and go over the results of x-rays I had done last week.

Diagnosis of RA was even more solidly confirmed today.  He put my level of severity of the disease on a scale of 1-10 at a 6 or 7.

He also prescribed more medicine to take in addition to the ones I'm already taking.

Swell.  (Yes, that is sarcasm.  Yes, I am using that.  Yes, generally I am against sarcasm.)

Cue tears.

I started to read a bit more on RA this past week.  I found a blog that I really like on this disease.  I have heard from so many folks that either have this disease or another auto immune one like this.  A friend of mine put me in touch with a gal who also lives in East Africa and was diagnosed 9 years ago and she and I have been swapping stories and I have been greatly encouraged by her.

Also, this past week - in perfect God timing - one of my favorite families ever - came to visit us for a couple days and I got to have a good cry (and a cup of tea) over this with them.

There has been some good stuff this past week.

And, I'll be honest, it's been hard.

I've been EXHAUSTED.  I never take naps.  And this week I was snoozing at the dentist while having dental work done.  A side effect of the medicine.

I've been EMOTIONAL.  Generally, I feel like I've good grasp on my emotions.  But, lately, I just want to cry all the time.  A side effect of the medicine...and I think just really trying to process all of this.

I've GAINED WEIGHT.  This is so hard for me.  I eat well.  I work out.  Yes, I took off a couple days this week but I still got in 4 good workouts and ran a race.  Words cannot begin to tell you how awful this side effect is for me.  Insert more EMOTION (aka tears).

I am up to taking 8 pills a day.  I despise medicine.  Like, I don't even like taking tylenol and will generally refuse that.  So, 8 pills is...yea 8 pills.

I have no good way to wrap all of this up except with a link to an article that a friend of mine (thanks Theresa!) sent me from the Gospel Coalition on chronic pain.  (Read here.)  I've read it each day this week and there's such beauty and truth in this article.  The thing that I can praise God for in all of this is that having this disease reminds me that this world is sinful and broken and all will be made perfect in heaven.

Come, Lord Jesus.




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