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somethings i'm noticing...

I'm trying to remember how I presented myself an additional 121 pounds ago.

Like out in stores or meeting up with new people.

Did I hold my head up or was I slouched down?

Did I present myself in a way that people could come up to me and talk?

Lately, I've been noticing that more people notice me.

Not trying to sound prideful.  I hope it doesn't come across that way.

But, more people smile at me and offer to help me (this could also be the amazing way Kenyans help out a mama with 2 young ones) and just generally look my direction.

I can't help but wonder if it has to do with the fact that I'm healthier now.

Do we judge people that are overweight and don't come up to them to talk or would we not offer to help them out in the store and instead go over to the person who looks more in shape?

I think that we do.  I don't think it's done on purpose but I do think it happens.

It's so sad.

I also think that when I was carrying around all that extra weight…it did weigh me down.  My self esteem and confidence levels were lower.  Not that I didn't smile at folks and say hi - but as I've been trying to think back then and compare then vs now - I am definitely more forward and outgoing now and I don't try to slump down and hide out in situations (or you know just wear a big sweater or sweatshirt to "hide" out).

I'm proud of myself.

Was I proud of myself then?  Yes…but it's just different now.

Not sure I have all the words for this but it's something I'm noticing.

People pay more attention to me and offer to help more.

It's kind of weird.

And it's make me sad all at the same time.

Anyone else that has undergone a major change in their physical self notice this too and perhaps can put  more words to this?

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